Soul Healing Love Blog

Marriage Is Much Like the Gospel

admin — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 22:42:24 +0000

We often hear the question, “Why should love be so hard?” After all, shouldn’t marriage be easy if you find your soul mate? Sadly, after 35 years of marriage, our answer is a resounding, “NO!” Marriage isn’t easy because we are, among many things, broken. As broken human beings we are at our core selfish. Timothy Keller says that the Biblical doctrine of sin explains why marriage—more than anything else that is good and important in this fallen world—is so painful and hard. He says that the reason marriage is so painful yet wonderful at once is because it is a reflection of the Gospel, which too is painful and wonderful at once.

The Gospel message is that we are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared to believe, and, at the very same time, we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope. This is the only kind of love that transforms us!

The Soul Healers Couples Weekend will help you deal with the hard work that marriage entails…so that you CAN find the wonderful gift that Marriage offers.

Join us April 20-22, 2012 in Charlotte, NC for the 15-hour Soul Healers Couples Weekend Workshop. Follow this link for more information:

http://www.soulhealinglove.com/couples.htm

A Great Soul Healing Experience in Clyde, NC

admin — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 18:36:26 +0000

This weekend we did a Soul Healers Marriage Encounter at New Convenant Church in Clyde, NC. We had 60 couples who were awesome! They hung in there with us Friday night, all day Saturday, and Saturday night. Pastor Nick described New Covenant as having a therapy-friendly culture, and he said that he believed everyone there could benefit from therapy, support groups, deliverance, or some form of counseling. What an awesome environment to grow Soul Healers! He also prayed at the beginning of the Encounter that fractured couples would be restored, dysfunctional couples would become healthy, and good marriages would be enriched.

We truly believe that his prayers were answered! Thank you to the folks in Clyde, NC–and to all those from past Soul Healers Workshops–that welcomed us and our message of Soul Healing Love!

Forgiveness Is Difficult, But Well Worth It!

admin — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 23:26:21 +0000

The late Ruth Bell Graham said, “A happy marriage is a union of two good forgivers.” For many forgiveness can be hard. For some it is a personality issue. The more sensitive temperaments like the melancholic have a great deal of trouble forgiving because they wound more easily and so deeply. For others it is the offense that makes forgiveness seem impossible. The offenses in marriage are particularly hard because you don’t expect your soul mate to wound your soul. But it happens—even quite by accident! Your husband criticizes your cooking in front of company. Your wife intimates you don’t earn as much money as your neighbor. Or even worse are the devastations of adultery, addiction, or abuse. This is why we need the supernatural forgiving power of the Holy Spirit in marriage. At the Soul Healers Couples Weekend Tom and I teach a powerful tool called The Forgiving Experience that will help you develop empathy and foster forgiveness in your marriage. Forgiveness is the cornerstone of the Christian faith. After all, where would any of us be without it? Learning this powerful tool can change your marriage and your future.

To Learn this valuable tool, sign up for the Soul Healers Couples Workshop at this site: http://soulhealinglove.com/couples.htm

February: The Love Month

admin — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 20:06:36 +0000

February is Valentine’s, a time when love is all around us. We know this because are asked to speak at churches and couples banquets more than any other month.
I also know this because everywhere I go, I see hearts- the drugstore, the grocery store, and the illustrious greeting card aisle. Stores set out a lair for consumers to buy flowers, romantic, mushy cards, and of course, the obligatory chocolates. All of this stresses of romantic love and conjures up candlelight dinners, toasts, and stolen kisses.
This month, lets look a little deeper at love. Lets look beyond the romance to the reality. Lets look at the basics like saying please and thank you and practicing gratitude for your mate. When we get a drink, let’s get him one too. Let’s practice thoughtfulness- when you wake up early because you can’t sleep, try hard not to wake the sleeping beauty beside you. These actions will make your marriage far happier and lasting than a box of Godiva.
This February every time you see a big red heart, which will be often, practice love, real day-in-day-out love. Happy Valentines Day 2012!

The Season of Thanksgiving!

admin — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 04:15:51 +0000

As counselors, our perspective of the holidays can tend to be somewhat unique. We who dwell in the less pleasant emotions of depression, fear, and grief with our clients can often get to Thanksgiving with mixed feelings. This year, I am taking a new approach. It is a known fact psychologically that our thoughts effect our lives, just ask Robert Ellis! This Thanksgiving, I implore you to think positively, not just because it is scripturally instructed (Colossians 3, “set your mind on things above, not on earthly things”) but because by doing so, you are literally changing the formation of your brain. Recent findings in neurobiology show that intense, focused thought on anything, both bad or good, cause the myelin (the covering of the brain cell) to thicken thus making logical conclusions and everyday thinking harder to do. If we think intensely on the negative, which lets face it, a lot of us could do, we strengthen the myelin making rational and healthy choices less easy to come by. One easy way to practice positive thinking is to keep a “gratitude journal” in which you daily write down 5 things for which you are grateful. In Soul Healing Love talk, we call this intentionality. Here’s a sneak peak of what I am writing in my journal this year……..I am thankful for loyal and faithful friends and family who pray for Rodgers Christian Counseling and all our associates, partners, and blessed clients who trust us enough to let us into their lives. I wish you all the warmest of Thanksgivings!

Summer Scenes

admin — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 21:38:47 +0000

What a blessed and busy summer! We have taught the Leadership Training at Transformation Church in Fort Mill, SC. We also trained the entire staff in the Soul Healing Love Model at Tampa Bay Christian Counseling outside Tampa, FL. Then, we flew to Denver, CO to build RCCA Colorado. There we spoke on a radio show on KPOF AM91 hosted by Bob Baker. And just last week we were guests of David and Barbara Cerullo on their program Inspiration Today! which will air on the INSP Network. So set you DVR’s to watch a message of God’s Soul Healing Love! And through all of this work, RCCA is still growing. We hired 2 new therapists this summer: Kelly Taylor and Samantha Sult.

During the busyness, we don’t want to lose sight of Who has allowed all of these wonderful things to occur, so we have been mindful to look toward our Heavenly Father. And, through it all, the Lord continues to teach us to trust in Him for His Plan, His Way, and His Abundance!

(For more details about Inspiration Today! and a television schedule click here http://www.insp.com/shows/inspirationtoday/)

RCCA moves West!

admin — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 19:42:32 +0000

Spring is a time when things sprout up from the sleeping soil and offer us beautiful blossoms and blooms to enjoy. It’s a time of rebirth, of newness, and of growth. Well we at RCCA are growing as well. Rodgers Christian Counseling Colorado is opening in Denver!

We have presented workshops in that area for many years and have been asked repeatedly, “Is there someone in the Denver, CO area that can offer the Soul Healing Love Model in therapy?” Well, now we can answer them a resounding, “Yes!” Expanding the Soul Healing Love Model for use across the globe has been a dream of ours for many years. We have small-group studies and support groups in 28 states and 4 countries, but to establish a professional counseling agency where the therapists are Certified Soul Healers will be a great legacy.

The lead therapist is Nikki Rodgers Beach, a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in the state of Colorado. She is not only a Certified Soul Healer, but she is our daughter and has grown up with Soul Healing Love. Here is an excerpt from the RCCA Colorado website:

Some of my earliest memories are of Soul Healers Weekends that were held in the basement of my childhood home. The Rodgers (my parents) have always made Soul Healing Love not only a family business, but also a family practice. During those weekends, I would wait in secret by the stairs and listen to my parents speak of their own wounded childhoods. Hearing my father talk about the brokenness and pain and then ultimate healing by the Lord Jesus Christ never ceased to bring tears to my eyes…I am now most fortunate to be bringing the Soul Healing Love Model of counseling and healing to the beautiful state of Colorado. It is my most earnest passion to see lives changed, redeemed, and healed by Jesus Christ, and I believe Soul Healing love is a wonderful catalyst for this! To read more, please visit www.rccacolorado.com

Helping Nikki every step of the way is her husband Chad Beach, son of the late Richard Beach who founded Doulos Ministries, an at-risk Christian youth program. Growing up in business and ministry, Chad adds so much by managing business concerns, designing the website, and aiding in marketing. Together, Chad and Nikki make a great team to bring the Soul Healing Love Model to Denver, Colorado!

The office is located in Downtown Littleton, CO: 2629 W. Main Street, Suite 100, Littleton, CO 80120. You can also contact Nikki by phone or email: 720.295.0406 or info@rccacolorado.com.

We are excited about what God has in store for the people of Denver!

Christmas is about Sacrifice

admin — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 19:46:29 +0000

I was kicked out of my house by my mentally ill mother in early December 1971, almost 40 years ago now. It was the home I had known for all of my 17 years of living. I moved in with my dad and step mom, whom I had never met! I was scared, anxious, wounded, uprooted and sent to a foreign land that I did not know. And still I felt the Lord’s presence with me. My new parents had a Christmas tree there, something my mother would rarely allow because she hated Christmas.

I would stay up half the night just watching it. Watching the lights shimmering in the purplish glow provided a sense of beauty, serenity and comfort to me like magic fairy dust had happened upon one of the forest’s own who had given its life for such a time as this. The tree sacrificed himself for the joy of Christmas tree lovers like me!

I now have a tree in almost every room in the house. In fact I am known for this among my friends. For me the tree is a symbol of Sacrifice much like the Christ Child who came in human form at Christmas to be a ransom for our sins. This Christmas, almost 40 years later I still stare at my Christmas trees for hours and allow their warmth and beauty to envelope me. And I am overwhelmed with the love of a God who would send His Baby Boy as a sacrifice so that we might be set free. For unto us a Child is Born, unto us a Son is given and He shall reign for ever and ever!

Remember Jesus, and His Sacrifice, is the reason for the season.

Forgiveness: For Giving You Freedom

admin — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 18:24:56 +0000

Recently we spoke at Transformation Church in Fort Mill, SC near Charlotte– our topic—Forgiveness. The feedback about our talk was very positive and the vast majority of the people who commented appreciated the section on what forgiveness is Not. Here are some highlights: Forgiveness is not exoneration or saying that the offender is not guilty. It is not justification or making excuses. It is not denial or minimizing the offense to keep peace or look pious. Forgiveness is not toleration, saying that the offender can continue his or her offensive behavior simply because they have asked for forgiveness. Forgiveness is simply for giving a person pardon and for giving you freedom.

In my (Bev) childhood I had much to forgive, among many things my mother’s physical beatings and her endless rants about my worthlessness. Her words, “If abortion were legal I would have gotten rid of you,” were tattooed to my soul for years. I tried to exonerate her (surely I have to honor my mother). I tried to justify her actions (after all she was an abused child herself). I tried denial and was successful for years until my headaches, stomach problems, and depression got the best of me. It took the gentle hand of the Holy Spirit nudging me to finally realize that I had to sincerely grieve my lost childhood, innocence, and self-esteem in order to forgive my mother’s abuse. In doing so I had to open up a wound that I had denied for years. We say in the Soul Healing Love Model that you can’t heal what you can’t feel. This was certainly true for me. In fact I had to forgive my mother over and over again, and each time the Lord was with me holding my hand. It is true –Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for someone else to die. Forgiveness is indeed a path to freedom.

The Fruits of Our Labor

admin — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 17:21:56 +0000

One of the most gratifying things about being a Christian marriage and family therapist for the past 30 years is hearing testimonials of couples who say that learning our Soul Healing Love Model saved their marriage or changed their family interaction for the better. Over the past three decades we have heard such things as:

“You were our last hope. We practically hated each other and you helped us learn to forgive and love again.”

“Your help made me see that I was a very critical father, much like my dad. You helped me change my relationship with my own children and now we have a great relationship because of it.”

“You saved our marriage from the brink of divorce. We had already seen an attorney and were moving in that direction when we saw you. The Soul Healing Love Model changed our perspective on marriage. We still see marriage as hard work, but we have the tools to do that work. And we are so grateful!”

Hearing these statements is wonderful! Here is one that is that particularly stands out to me.

“We have been married for 35 years. We did not have a bad marriage, but it wasn’t good either. We did not talk or connect. After the kids left home we had nothing in common. In the evenings I would do my thing and my husband would do his, usually in separate parts of the house. I wanted more and he wanted me to stop wanting more. We attended a Soul Healers Couples workshop, and he said he thought connection like that wasn’t realistic for him. I felt trapped. I did not want a divorce because my husband was a good man, but I was so lonely. I finally persuaded him to come to counseling even though he felt like it was sheer torture. You guys made it less ‘painful’ for him and in time he began to talk. Eventually he started sharing from his heart. It took time and a lot of energy to change our old patterns, but now we have a relationship that is very healing for both of us.

On our 35^th anniversary he said an amazing thing to me. Now remember this is a man that could not share feelings of any kind much less sentimentality for years. He said, ‘For years I had a hard time buying you a card for our anniversary. I would read a few romantic cards and feel very uncomfortable. Then I’d find the funny cards with the doggie couples doing various tasks around the house. I would make my purchase and quickly leave the store. This year I found myself taking my time reading all the cards with statements of deep love and care. I found just the right card that said how much I love, respect, and appreciate you and could not wait to see your face when you opened it. I could not believe I was able to give you a card with all the romance and deep feelings. I have always wanted to be one of those deeply in-love old couples, and now we are one of them!’

I don’t know who was more excited about the transformation in this couple: the husband for learning to share, the wife for hearing it, or me for being around to experience this joy with them. It is so amazing what God can do when we are willing to learn and grow!